Overwhelmed

Yesterday at church a soloist sang the song Here with Us by Joy Williams and I was deeply moved. I am not sure I can put my feelings into words, but I will try. This is the first Christmas that I have had an infant son. Caleb and Noah were both almost a year old and walking at their first Christmases, but this year Josiah is just 3 months old. As the words of the song flashed on the screen, I was overcome with emotion. I was moved at the thought of my savior as a tiny baby just like my Josiah. Like the song says, His tiny hands that were the same that measured the sky, His infant eyes that saw the dawn of time, His little ears that had heard an angel symphony. But I think I was most moved by the thought of Mary rocking her savior to sleep, the same way I rock Josiah to sleep. Mary, a young girl, as our pastor preached on yesterday, an ordinary girl who God used to do the extraordinary. But also a mommy. A mommy who loved her baby, a baby who was her little son but also God of the Universe, Messiah, God with Us. I can't imagine the difficulty of the path God chose for her to walk raising her son, knowing He was God's Son, unsure of what that really meant. I've always wondered how she has become one whom many wrongly worship, but I can see just a glimpse why now. She willingly surrendered to the plan God had for her and for her son, no matter the consequences or pain. It occurs to me that when God calls people to extraordinary paths, they are rarely easy ones. And in Mary's case that is so true. Maybe she has been exalted because in our weakness we cannot fathom her strength.

I wondered yesterday as I pondered all of this if I could have done what she did. And then I realized that in a way, I must. My children are not mine, they are His. I pray they come to know Him and love Him, that they will follow Him always, no matter the cost. I must learn the complete surrender that Mary had as she rocked her baby, her savior to sleep. She didn't know what God had in store for His son, how exactly He would be our Savior or the sacrifice it would require. But she was all in. And so I want to be a mommy like that. Completely surrendered to God, and able to let go of my children and give them completely to His hands. This is my prayer this Christmas.

And this Christmas, I don't want to get caught up in all of the busyness of the holiday or even with friends and family who I love. What I want to do the most is worship the King who was born a baby, just like my Josiah- with tiny hands, infant eyes. But also born a baby whose hands measured the sky, whose eyes saw the dawn of time, a baby who was my Savior. A baby born to save, to save the souls of man. My heart sings Hallelujah! Hallelujah, heaven's love reaching down to save the world! Son of God, servant King, here with us.

Here is the song with the lyrics. I pray it touches you like it did me: