When I forget gratitude....

I don't know what to title this post. Forgotten gratitude. Missed thanks. Repentant heart.....

I haven't been counting. I let life get in the way. I stopped paying attention. I started looking at me instead. Oh, I was still grateful from time to time. I still whispered the occasional thankful prayer. I still found joy in moments, in laughter, in smiles, in life. But I didn't trace those gifts back to the giver. And I can tell the difference. If I had to state the overall feelings I've had in the past few months they'd be: irritable, frustrated, overly-emotional, impatient, snippy. I know it's because I've stopped living each moment with purpose- the glory of the One who made that moment. I've been wasting those moments. They've been redeemed, bought by the cross and now they have such deep an eternal purpose. Every thing I have, see, feel, experience is a chance to glorify God. Or a chance to waste.

This counting of gifts, of grace, it's not a magic pill. Doing it doesn't mean that everything is suddenly perfect. It means that I am redeeming the mundane, giving purpose to the happiness and to the pain, and doing what I was made to do- worship the Giver. It means that my focus is not on me and that makes my days more full of joy. It means that my heart is ordering things rightly. It means that the sovereignty of God is the source of my peace, and joy, and life. It means I can laugh at hard days and smile in the pain, because nothing is outside of His hand, and He is working everything together for my good, and He is making me more like Christ and it's all undeserved grace anyway. I want it to be the breath of  my life- the natural in and out of my day- this giving of thanks to God, this acknowledgment of His goodness, grace, power, grandeur, redemption.

Thanks be to God for His marvelous gifts over the past few months.....

601. celebrating 5 years

602. birthday circus boys

603. the wonder on their faces
604. a man who cares for me in the throws of walking pneumonia 
605.valentines cookies

 606. these four sugary faces on valentine's day

 607. they won't let him leave for work

608. celebrating 7 years

 

 609. these two, best friends

 610. a sudden snowstorm

611. her first snow

 612. "Snow-Pop" 

 613. cousins on the couch

 614. she has them college boys wrapped

615. friday family fun

616. chinese take-out and a redbox movie
617. she found her brother's hat

618. big brother, little sister, best friends

619. learning to use a fork

 620. siah's first trip around the neighborhood riding his bike

621. starbucks date with a gospel speaking friend after a long day
622. hazelnut macchiato

 623. sunshine on swingset

624. handmade, with love, beautiful, functional desk

625. she makes me laugh

626. extreme bubble bath

 627. the many faces of eden

628. picnics at the park after church
629. girls' weekend away with two sweet friends
630. late night talks
631. finding our favorite mexican restaurant in greenville, sc

632. reading with daddy before bed 

633. watching them sleep

634. homeschool conference with jack, caleb and noah
635. quick trip to downtown greenville

636. warm sunday night at the park

 

 637. pretty in pink

 638. eden and "doo-dah"

639. she loves him

640. watching him riding without training wheels for the first time
641. march madness brackets by mascot, cheering with my boys
642. eden kisses
643. watching them swim
644. a new van
645. gospel conversations with caleb
646. playing keys with the remedy worship band
647. hymnal
648. eden's ever expanding vocabulary
649. eden's animal sounds- they always make me smile
650. noah and siah together in one beanbag chair, just talking